Pay attention to what a woman tells you she wants and her heart will be yours.
Ah, the age-old question – what do women want? The art of pleasing a woman has bedeviled man since time immemorial, but the answer’s a lot simpler than you think. If you have trouble cracking the code of the elusive female, why not look at the issue from a scientific standpoint?
On the most basic, biological level, women need men to do their share of reproduction. But really, all men need to supply to make a baby is sperm – the woman carries the growing baby and then she is typically burdened with most of the responsibilities of raising that child. Generations of breeding have taught women to be instinctively choosy when it comes to picking a mate, not because they’re demanding or finicky, but because there are certain qualities required to create a safe, successful family.
With modern birth control methods, women no longer have to choose men based on their qualifications as potential father for their children, but thousands of years of evolution have hard-wired certain mating preferences in humans that can’t be denied. In women, characteristics like generosity, resources and social status play significant roles when a woman is selecting her ideal mate – even if she’s unaware that she’s using this ancient yardstick to gauge your worth as a potential partner.
Does a woman benefit from marrying a cheapskate? Probably not. If a man is generous with his time and his money, she can feel more secure about her future with him. This doesn’t mean she’s a gold-digger. In any good long-term relationship, both parties generously share their belongings, their emotions and their time. If you’re generous from the very start, you’ll show her that you can be a good provider – and then she can be comfortable being generous, too, knowing that it’s a two-way street.
Not only must a man be generous, he must have resources to be generous with. Again, the stereotype may spring to mind of the beautiful young blonde latching onto an older, wealthier man – as distasteful as that scenario may be, stereotypes become stereotypes because there’s some truth to them. When a woman is shopping for a lifemate, his income is important. After all, the more resources he has – money, car, property – the more secure her family will be. Marrying for love is a relatively new invention, after all, and it wasn’t so very long ago that people married purely for financial and social security. You might be a really great guy, but if you work at a minimum wage job and live in your parents’ basement, you aren’t presenting yourself as a very good catch.
A survey of college students in Massachusetts, Michigan, Texas and California found that women value social status considerably more than men – they dubbed it important and indispensable, while men merely thought it desirable, but not all that important. Keep this in mind when seeking a mate – if you’re a pizza delivery guy and she’s studying for the bar exam, you’re about to find yourselves on very different rungs of the social ladder. Women tend to date at the same level or above themselves socially, which is why you rarely see a plumber married to a female neurosurgeon.
These three traits have affected how women have selected men for over 200, 000 years. Does this mean they’re hard and fast rules? Hardly. Society is ever-changing, and the ways in which mean and women relate change with the times. But those primitive needs for security and social status remain, and they’re significant.
Still, what may matter more than anything in the long run are more intangible qualities, like love.
Put simply, women want to be loved.
You can have all the money in the world, but if you can’t provide your partner with love and commitment, she’ll find it elsewhere. With more women working side by side with men, making as much – or more – money than they do, and achieving genuine equality, the list of qualities they seek in a mate is changing. Women don’t need men to have a successful, healthy, and happy life. They aren’t dependent on men dragging home the biggest elk for dinner – they can hunt, cook and eat that elk themselves! And so the biggest factor in choosing a mate becomes… love.
If you’re lucky enough to have a woman fall in love with you, then you’re in a perfect position to give her what she wants most of all – you. If she thinks you’re the one, that means she wants you. She wants your physical affection, time, commitment, and attention. Remind her, often, of how much you love and care for her, and little else will matter.
The only reason women seem mysterious to men is that men often don’t pay attention to what women tell them they want. It’s as simple as that. Each woman is an individual, with unique hopes, fears, dreams and desires. Listen to her, tell her how beautiful and special she is, and her heart will be yours.