Learn how to start the conversation and interaction towards the ultimate goal: sex with a woman.
I’m going to start out with a question about seduction that I get frequently and got again this week:
“What do I do to steer the conversation towards sex with a woman? I always seem to flub this part up, and then it gets weird.”
This is an excellent situation to cover, because I know there are a LOT of guys out there who do not know how to start the conversation and interaction towards the ultimate goal: Sex.
What I mean by this is that a lot of guys out there will start talking with a woman, trying desperately to be”nice”and make her want to like him, and never really keep an edge in their discussion. It never gets to be risky talk, the kind of sexual flirting and innuendoes that need to be passed along if she is going to think of you as more than a”friend.”
A lot of guys rob themselves of power by coming across as too eager to please – they’re too vanilla. You need to step up the energy level so that she knows this conversation is not the usual chat-room discussion about Friends episodes. (Remember: it’s better to risk turning her off fast at the start by being charged than it is to never get any reaction and wind up neutral.)
Part of this rule is remembering to never be crude or mean with your comments. Too many guys try to joke with women about sex the way they would with a man. You can eventually do this, but it takes a lot of groundwork. You have to start by being very indirect and vague, and then when you hear her giving you some cues that she’s going in that direction, you can start to gradually turn up the volume.
I’m sure you’ve played one of those video games at one time or another where you drive a race car. Most of the good games today have good physics modeling and behave like the real thing. One of the classic problems is over-correction – when you compensate for a turn too much and steer too hard, and then the car swerves out of control. Pretty soon you’re all over the road because you oversteer in every direction.
When you’re in a conversation with a woman, you never want to grab the steering wheel and swerve the conversation car violently over into the sexual lane. You’ll lose control and then crash and burn.
Take the conversation there gently. Don’t just go from saying, “Yeah, I graduated from UC Berkeley back in ’97” to “I got some of the greatest head there of my life.” You have to bring the topic to sex in such a way that it feels natural. Most guys make the big mistake of putting out a sexual topic and sounding like a guy who just said something sexually explicit as a way to”test the waters.”
One way you can do that is to excuse yourself in advance: “Look, I usually don’t talk about these things with a woman I’ve just met, but I can tell that you’re really mature. We’re two adults here, right? Well, here’s what I think most women do right in bed that men haven’t figured out…”
This sets it up so that she must go along with you and agree that she’s an adult and can talk about”mature”subjects. And, it does it in a way that she will be very interested in hearing.
Ease her into the topic gently. Start with a subject that is slightly sexual, but isn’t too much for her to handle. Maybe it’s talking about a movie you both saw and how you wondered why so many actresses get their boobs done. Then sit and listen to her explanation. Feed off it. She’ll give you plenty of ammunition to use. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, SHE will go even riskier with whatever topic you bring up. All you have to do is take it just a LITTLE further with the next step.
Women LOVE the opportunity to switch roles and be the one to talk dirty while the man acts very prude. If you can, you want to give her the chance to be the one with the”dirty mind.”Men are way too obvious with their sexual banter and talk, and need to cut back. You should appear to be resisting talking about sex, while at the same time drawing her into talking about it more. Here’s how this might work:
Mary: “I just didn’t like the way my last boyfriend kissed. He wasn’t passionate enough.”
John: “Oh my gosh, pretty soon you’re going to start talking about how he was in bed, and then I’m going to start blushing.”
Mary: “What’s the matter? Too shocking?”
John: “I just can’t believe you’re ready to start talking dirty to me. You women have such dirty minds.”
Mary: “And you don’t?”
John: “No way! I mean, I bet you have one of those really crazy stories about having sex in a shocking place. I mean, am I right?”
Another way is to get her to play the role you want her to play. Ask her to tell you, for instance, what SHE would do to seduce someone she was interested in. Get her to describe it in vivid detail. Then joke and tease her about how that would never work with you, which raises the stakes for her and makes her want to prove herself. (The Role Reversal is a POWERFUL dynamic which I explain thoroughly in my e-book on the art of seducing women, The Seduction Method.)
If you start to push for details about her thoughts about sex, you’ll probably come across as too obvious. Never refer to her or her body directly for as long as you can. You want to keep her feeling as if this talk is not personal or too revealing. You never want her to feel threatened, or that she is somehow sleazy for talking with you about these topics. Keep up the romantic illusion that everything you’re talking about is in non-personal terms.
When you start getting specific about her, and you, and you two together, you have to handle it VERY carefully. You have to use the most highly charged and erotic imagery you can summon.
In the end, if you can take some of these basic rules and apply them thoughtfully, you’ll have no problem steering a woman into a very arousing and sexually charged conversation. It’s necessary, because the more neutral the conversation (the typical”getting to know you”crap) the more likely she is to yawn and write you off as a guy she’d NEVER sleep with.
Be subtle at first, and keep it mature and reasonably sophisticated. You’ll find that she will be more than willing to play in your reindeer games if you can just keep things moving in the right way.