Cheating is one of those things that can really mess you up confidence wise. Having been cheated on can make a guy wonder if he can ever really trust a woman again. And when you are talking about a cheating ex girlfriend that you still have feelings for… oh man, is that asking for trouble. I like to see couples get back together in most situations, but when a guy says that he wants to get back with an ex girlfriend who has cheated on him in the past – that is when I really have a problem.
Let me explain why:
Like it or not, you TRAIN people to treat you a certain way. You do that by showing them what you are willing to put up with and with showing them what you WON’T put up with. So, if you try to work things out with a woman who has cheated on you in the past – you are in a sense telling her that it is okay.
I know, you are saying, but she knows that I don’t like it.
I get that.
However ACTIONS speak way louder than words do. And when your actions show her that it might be kind of a big deal, but not a deal breaker – you DO train her to feel like it’s really not that bad if she cheats on you. This is why so many cheaters who get caught and forgiven – go right back to cheating down the line.
Can you really work things out with a girlfriend who cheated on you?
Sure. There are possibilities. A lot of it depends on whether or not it is her default response when things get too heavy in a relationship. If it IS her default response, she will keep on going back to that behavior if she feels like the relationship isn’t working or things are getting too heavy again.
What am I saying here?
That when you have an ex girlfriend who cheated on you, it can f*ck you up emotionally. It can make you feel like you can’t really see straight and that includes the desire to win her back and work things out. While that may be possible in SOME situations – most of the time, you would be much better off with leaving her where she belongs.